The lovely guesswork and fluidity that came with cruise culture is gone. Many sites and apps have drop-down menus that literally make us choose one. In the era of hookup apps, we are often siloed into rigid roles: Top, Bottom, Versatile, Versa-top, Versa-bottom. We must now take the same approach to sex labels. But they don’t mandate how you live your life or what you must believe. They give you a community to rally around, identify with, and support. You learn a truth: Labels are tools, not cages. Their terrifying power dissipates as you meet others, have sex, and learn the scene. When we come out, words like “gay” and “bi” are tough to say, but they get easier. Which makes a difference the further back in the club you go, the darker the room is, the hornier you get. Tops and bottoms and versatile guys alike all wear these - they’re easy to throw on, and usually less expensive than full-body getups - but it’s no secret that they’re easier to bend over in. These have minimal vertical straps over the pivot point of your waist - their principal construction is around the chest and shoulders. They’re made for guys who will be standing up, standing behind, thrusting.īulldog harnesses, shoulder harnesses, “x” harnesses, and their million variations are universal. Harnesses with straps connected to a cock ring droop uncomfortably and awkwardly when you bend over. It’s a simple fact of anatomy that certain harnesses are uncomfortable to bend over in - like the styles mentioned above. These also include harnesses that come down holster-style and connect to a cock ring. These include classic suspender harnesses and their million variations. If using your hands or a sex toy, wash thoroughly.In other words: a harness that requires you to keep your pants on, at least a little bit (it’s OK if they sag and show that happy trail, that tuft of pubic hair, as they should). Switching between anal and vaginal sex? Make sure to roll on a new condom in between.
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Use a barrier form of protection, such as a condom, to reduce the risk of STIs and other infections, including: It’s totally possible to spread STIs through anal sex. It’s not necessary, but totally up to you. Plus, your partner will probably appreciate the gesture.Ī soapy shower or bath is sufficient, but some people like to use an enema before anal sex for a deeper clean. If this makes you uncomfortable, taking a quick rinse before the main event can help put you at ease. There’s no way around it: Butts contain poop, and there’s a chance that some will make an appearance during anal. You can do this using butt plugs or anal dilators, starting with a small one and working your way up in size. Consider anal trainingĪnal training refers to gradually stretching your anus in preparation for anal sex. Here are some other first-timer tips to get you started off right. Prepping for anal is especially important for newbies. The feeling is very common and totally normal. This is because your prostate is located in front of your bladder, and your urethra runs right through it. As part of your natural sexual response, blood flow to the prostate increases, causing it to swell and become more sensitive.Īnd speaking of swelling, many people also report suddenly feeling like they need to pee, even if their bladder’s empty. Prostate stimulation is often described as feeling insanely good.
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These are all the same nerves and muscles that play a role in pooping, after all. This initial penetration is also frequently described as feeling like a reverse poo, only way more pleasurable and satisfying.Īnd now that the other P-word is out there: Feeling like you might poop is very common when you’re anally penetrated.
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If you’re not used to this, it can feel uncomfortable at first. Anal penetrationīefore you get to the prostate, though, you make contact with all of the nerve endings in and around the anus. While this little gland’s job is to produce and propel semen, it also happens to be chock-full of sensitive nerves that can make for some highly pleasurable feels. Cisgender men and people assigned male at birth have a prostate.